Well, we are now officially halfway through 2011, and what a year it has been. It seems as if death has been knocking on the doors of our family and friends entirely too much, and although death is simply an inescapable part of life, its occurrence often makes one pause and give closer thought to many of the things so often taken for granted. For me, at least, I know that is how my mind processes such sad occasions.
My Grandma passed away in February, and that has absolutely been one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I have lost other loved ones, but I was much younger and there was so much I couldn't fully understand then. Honestly, there is still a vast majority of this concept I can't truly grasp, but much more so now than then. My Grandma was only 70-years old when she passed, and the ultimate cause of her death was linked to her Pulmonary Fibrosis. What a nasty disease that is-essentially slowly suffocating its victims to the point where they fight for every precious breath they can take. It was painstaking to watch her live out her last days, but on the other hand, I was glad to get to be there with her after all the times she was there for me. She was not in her right mind, but I know, subconsciously, she knew we were there to be by her side as she transitioned from this life into the next, even if she couldn't fully acknowledge the fact.
You never want to see your loved ones suffer, especially to the extent which she was suffering. She fought for so long, with such ferocity, that we all had nothing but respect for her when she finally decided she was now ready to give in and go with God. She accepted the fact that He was calling her home, and we had to accept that fact, too. Knowing that she was ready made it at least a little easier to accept, but it was still a far cry from easy in any way, shape, or form. Situations like these bring about such mixed emotions-intense sadness and grief over the loss of someone so near and dear to your heart; relief that their suffering is over; happiness that they are home with their Savior, forever watching over us as our Guardian Angels; and gratitude-sheer appreciation and respect for all that you have and are blessed with in spite of all that you just lost.
Shortly after my grandma passed, one of my dearest friends lost her baby at 32 weeks. Preeclampsia took its toll on both mom and baby, and unfortunately, the baby did not make it. Having only had Brooklyn a little over a year ago, my heart literally broke into pieces as I received the news of her and her husband's loss. While losing a grandparent is hard, losing a child is impossible. To make matters worse, only a little over a year ago, they had lost their first baby, as well, at 20 weeks. Just as they were starting to heal from their first tragedy, they were grief-stricken again for the same reason. Occurrences like this just make a person ask why... regardless of how strong a person is in their faith, it is always so hard to accept when God chooses a child to take to Heaven to be with Him. Their loss hit me hard, too, for several reasons. First and foremost, I can't imagine losing a child. I am honestly not sure I could ever recover from something so devastating. But second, I felt so much grief and sadness for this lost little boy whom I was so looking forward to watching grow up and the friendship I am sure he would have had with our children. Then of course, there is the immense sadness felt for my friend and her husband. All I could do was cry when I heard the news, and it is so hard to want to be able to reach out and help them but not even knowing where to start, also knowing that there is nothing that can truly help them more than time and God's healing grace.
Just yesterday, we received a call in dispatch. One of our coworkers was frantically searching for her three-year old son and couldn't find him anywhere. Immediately, every law enforcement unit available was headed in her direction to aid in the search. Her family lives out on a ranch in the county, and with flooding already posing a threat in many surrounding areas, there was an increased level of danger with this missing child. Eventually, the boy was found... face down in the water. No one knows for sure how long he was submerged, but he did not have a pulse and deputies immediately started CPR and life-saving efforts. After two hours of being worked on, the boy's little heart eventually started beating again. At that point, it was decided that he would be rushed to Denver to the Children's Hospital for further treatment. After extensive testing, it was found that there was significant brain damage, and his parents were then faced with the impossible decision of whether or not to keep him on life support, knowing that he would never be the same again, if he ever even regained consciousness, and that it was only the machines keeping him alive at that point. They eventually decided to remove life support, and he passed away this morning. Such a heartbreaking day. My heart goes out to their family, and thoughts and prayers will be sent their way for many days to come.
I truly cannot imagine. I have to try my hardest not to even attempt, or it makes me burst into tears. This is one of those "hypothetical" situations that my mind will not allow me to comprehend. I have to put up a mental block- a wall against this devastating possibility. And unfortunately, that is exactly what it is: losing a child is a devastating possibility for all of us. Regardless of how wonderful of a parent you are or how many precautions you put in place to keep your children safe, God already knows His plan for them just like He does for us, and He could decide to take them from our lives at any second as part of His bigger plan for them.
The moral of this story and the thought for the day is: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS! Don't take ANYTHING for granted. Everything we have in this life is a blessing, a gift, and a privilege. We are not entitled to anything, and in the blink of an eye, that which is dearest to us can be gone. Every day is a new adventure and should be welcomed with open arms. Savor the small things that bring us so much joy that often go unmentioned- the smell of rain, the sound of a child laughing, the warm embrace of a loved one. Life is too short to not live fully and happily; you only get one shot, so make it the best that it can be for you, as well as all those around you whose lives you influence in ways you may not even realize. Hug your kids a little tighter, spend a little bit more time playing with them and reading to them than usual, tell your parents you love them and your friends you appreciate them. You just never know...
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